Can't Just Say
by Randomness
Summary: This is a little sililoquy by Spot talking about Girls and love It's really just him talking to himself and I just added the otherside of the coin, so to speak. Enjoy and Review PLEASE!
1. Tails

    Author's Note: I'm kind of cheating on my promise to Scarlet but I have writer's block so this is to get the creative juices flowing and It's not like I'm working on Georgia Peach so I'm not technically breaking my promise. This is a big Angst thing by Spot about why he sleeps around so much. At least in my story. 

Can't Just Say....  
By Randomness

    Every goil I'se ever met just wanted to hear t'ree simple woids, I love yous. Dat's all dey wanted, as soon as you said dat dey would be putty in yer hands and most of my boys think that's how I get so many goils. One a week or so. But dat ain't how it works, least not wid me. See, I'll tell a goil she's pretty, sophisticated, funny, whatever but I ain't never said dose t'ree little woids dat every goil wants to hear. I can't just say I love yous to just nobody cause day just ain't true. I like em a lot, I like da way dat de goils make me feel but I can hardly ever remember dere names when dey're gone.     Franky....I mean Jack, was right when he said I was a dawg. He wasn't right den but if he saw me now he'd be downright ashamed dat he ever let his little sista near me. See, I never told her dat I loved her eider. I didn't love her really, not in da way I shoulda since I was dating her and dat's what really mattared.     Da problem is dat I can't just go t'rowing dose woids around because a long time ago, before I knew how it felt to be wit a goil, I said em and I meant em. I said em to dis goil dat was one a me best friends. She said em back too but dat she couldn't be wid me ever. She gave me da key to her heart and I wear it wid me all da time. When I'm wid Angel or Maggie. It's her dat I t'ink of, it's her me heart belongs ta and it's her dat I feel like I'm betraying everytime I kiss anoder goil. So I Can't just say 'I love you'.     Ta dis day I look in da crowd ta see if she's dere even dough I know she's been long gone from New York since I was 13 yea's old. She told me she Loved me and I believed her, I still do but she left me and so I found oder goils, and dey fit da bill well for a while but soon I lose all interest in dem. Dey eider are too tall, too short, no personality, etc and everyone just says Ise got a problem wid commitment. Dat's true I guess. I'm too committed, bet none a you woulda t'ought dat I coulda probably made a few bucks offa Race over it.     I guess what I'm tryin ta say is dat I use goils. I admit it. I use em and drop em and move on to da next. I'm a lyer and a bastard, I'll admit dat too. Only t'ink is dat I nevre lied ta any of me goils, not once. Dey came ta deir own conclusions which have not'ing ta do wid what I say or don't say. It's da fact dat I ain't never lied ta me goils, dat I can keep doin dis. I can keep betrayin' Manders and I can keep usin' dem. Sometimes I can even convince meself dat dey're usin me too. However, dat's also why 'I Love You' is somethin' I can't just say. 

    Author's Note: Well that was fun. I'm more or less out of writter's block too. This is just adding to a conversation that was had in my story 'Santa Fe' though it's still hard to understand until I post the story about this character then everything will come clear. Review please. Oh and this is the first time I wrote anything in the accent, I try to keep it out of stories because I'm afraid I'll mess them up so tell me how I did with it. Thanks!! 


	2. Heads

    Author's Note: This is my attempted sequel. It's more poetic but it's badly poetic because the character is like that. It doesn't focus on Spot because I couldn't beat a dead horse so it's the other side of the little messed up relationship. It really doesn't make all that much sense until you read the story that involves them (Which I'm not writting til I'm in writter's craft, I want it to be my best story.) Anyway, Enjoy and review! PLEASE REVIEW!! *Begging* 

Can't Just Say....  
By Randomness

    I can't just say I trust you, I know that isn't true. I lose my friends all the time, I even lost you. I can't just say I know you, because I thought I did. You lied to me and you hurt me when you chose them over me and I was left alone. You picked popularity over 4 years, my _Friend_, and you wonder why I don't jump to trust you again? I can't just say I forgive you, even if it happened a long time ago. I had no friends for years to come because you had to go. You were my friend forever and then you picked them over me. It's hard for someone, who's always alone, to trust people when they get stabbed so close to home.     They wonder why I'm quiet, they say I don't give you a chance. If they knew what you used to be, they wouldn't trust you at all. I knew you then, you weren't ashamed and then your parents died. Now you're out of your mansion and in the streets and your past, you have to hide. So I was the last thing you had, to link you to that life. You dropped my like broken glass and now you wonder why?     Funny thing is, you don't even remember that day you turned away. You didn't even say goodbye, you didn't look me in the face. You followed them after they teased and joked, and made my feelings hurt. I tell you, that's the hardest thing for a seven year old to cope with. My best friend left me and went with them and I was left alone.     So I can't forgive you, not yet for that, though a decade had past. I gave up all my life to enter your home and be your friend and you just dumped me because I wasn't good enough anymore. You don't remember what happened there. I know because you just told me that you loved me so.     I love you too. I have forever, but I can't be with you; not now or ever. I gave an excuse, it was a half truth but the facts are much deeper here. You broke my heart when I was seven, you think I would trust you with it again? Thing is Spot, I know the truth. If given the same choice again, you would pick them. Your Ego is way too big. I guess I can say I know you, because deep down I do. I know that you'll hurt me again, if I trust in you. I won't just give my heart away. Trust you? That's the one thing I can't say. 

    Author's Note: This is for my friend Andrea who helped me develop this character, though she didn't know it at the time. Thanks Anya!! PS: I know that sounded really rambly and bitter but she really is a nice character. 


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